I love kids.
I work with children ranging from kindergarten to high school. Generally, it’s the adults that work my nerves, but occasionally there is a kid I want to sucker punch.*
I sent this text today after a extremely excruciating encounter with a small child.
Going to start threatening to kills kid’s families when they’re fucking around and taking forever ….
"Choose the picture that shows what the student should do or I’ll fucking murder your mommy and make you watch, you little shit! And if you keep dicking around, it’s lights out for daddy too. Hell, I’m feeling good today. I might even take out nana and pop pop. You wanna find a bloody mess when you get home?"
I imagine that I’ll whisper these words into a child’s ear. And if I’m approach by a coworker when the child starts to cry and scream about how I’d just threatened to decimate his family, I will stand and announce a la Denzel Washington in his Oscar winning performance in Training Day, “King Kong ain’t got nothing on me!”
These thoughts are what keep me from actually losing my shit.
*I don’t hit children… unless they hit me first. Because that’s when that shit becomes a fight and I’ll be damned if I let a little kid think they just kicked my ass.